Loving the Vulnerable with Your Actions
Tom Stolle is the executive director of the Baptist Convention of Maryland/Delaware. Stolle began serving the BCM/D as comptroller in 2004 and has held the positions of chief operating officer, director of human resources, associate executive director, chief financial officer and interim executive director. He met his wife Shelley through mutual friends, and they were married in 1990. They have three adult sons, Jordan Thomas (J.T.), Jake and Jimmy. As Stolle prepared to work with the BCM/D as Chief Financial Officer, he and Shelley discovered their young son, Jimmy, had severe, life-altering, family-changing intellectual disabilities. Over the years, Stolle openly shared his and Shelley’s struggles as they loved and cared for Jimmy, often with tears and emotional and physical scars. His candid openness touched many hearts. He became passionate about assisting churches in starting and strengthening their disability ministries, and that passion became a catalyst for BCM/D’s current emphasis on disability ministry.
Sexual assault is an epidemic in America. Per Rape & Incest National Network (RAINN), every 68 seconds an American is sexually assaulted, and every 9 minutes, that victim is a child. That should get your attention! It’s horrifying. It’s evil.
For me, this issue is personal. As a parent of a young man affected by developmental and intellectual disabilities, I know my son is extremely vulnerable. I wanted to learn more. I wanted to protect him. And what I learned from my research shook me to my core.
Per National Public Radio (NPR), individuals affected by intellectual disabilities are sexually assaulted at seven times the rate of people without disabilities. Additionally, per the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape, more than 90 percent of individuals affected by developmental disabilities will experience sexual abuse in their lifetime, and 49 percent will experience ten or more abusive incidents.
For individuals like my son, the statistics paint a grim picture. It’s not a matter of “if” for him. It’s a matter of “when.” It’s not one child every nine minutes. It’s much worse. It’s much more frequent. Keep in mind that while my son is physically an adult, mentally, he will always be a child.
To adequately consider the scope of this issue, consider that there were approximately 8.4 million people affected by an intellectual or developmental disability in the United States in 2020. I believe Jesus wants these individuals to know Him and to know He loves them.
Like many individuals affected by these types of disabilities, my son is compliant. He is dependent on caregivers and others who provide support, and he can be easily taken advantage of by a perpetrator. For individuals like my son, the church must not ignore this reality.
How can the church say, “Everyone is welcome,” but not put safeguards in place to protect the vulnerable? How can the church say, “Jesus loves you,” but not put policies and procedures in place to protect the vulnerable? If a child or a vulnerable adult is abused in church, even though that person has been told they are loved, they may conclude in their own mind that God hates them. To go to the house of God and to be abused is one of the vilest forms of evil.
Jesus said in Mark 9:42 (ESV), “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.”
Jesus is saying that a person would be better off dead than causing a child to sin.
Failure to protect the vulnerable in the church and the resulting abuse can easily drive these children away from Jesus. Saying we love them must be more than empty words. The words must be evidenced by action.
My son gets excited when he goes to church. He has men who care for him, protect him, and share the Gospel with him. Policies and procedures are put in place to protect him. They say they love him; their actions prove they do. There is consistency. There is protection. He can experience the love of Jesus for himself in the ways he is able.
I am asking the churches to examine their policies and procedures and prioritize protecting the vulnerable by developing and maintaining them.
Love must be backed up by action. Jesus made no empty promises. Neither should His church.
Let’s love well! Let’s prove our love in our actions! Amen!
- ‘Don’t Leave Here and Do Nothing’: SBC Panel Calls Churches to Act on Child Exploitation
State and federal officials, survivors, and ministry leaders gathered at the 2026 SBC Annual Meeting to move Southern Baptist churches from awareness to action on child abuse, sexual exploitation, and human trafficking. She was going to church the entire time it was happening. That was the disclosure Olivia Littleton, senior director of Survivor Services for One More Child, made to a room full of Southern Baptist pastors and ministry leaders at the 2026 SBC Annual Meeting. A survivor of sexual exploitation herself, Littleton made the point with quiet precision: the children the Church is trying to protect may already be sitting in its pews. - ‘When the Cute Factor Fades’: SBC Confronts a Gap in Disability Ministry That Leaves Vulnerable Adults at Risk
It starts, Shawn Thornton said, with what a father once described to him as the “cute factor.” When a child with disabilities is 5, 7 or 8 years old, people in the church light up around them. They talk to them. They engage. There is something about a small child with a disability that draws the Church toward them. But as that child grows, the hormones kick in and the body changes, and the behavioral complexity of adolescence sets in. The cute factor, Thornton said, was gone. And with it, too often, goes the ministry. “The church just misses that opportunity to pick up right there and provide a supportive, healthy community,” said Thornton, president and CEO of Joni and Friends, who opened the Stand Up Lunch in prayer at the 2026 SBC Annual Meeting. - SBC Executive Committee Launches ‘The Fortify Initiative’ to Equip Local Churches in Abuse Prevention and Response
ORLANDO, Fla.— Jeff Dalrymple, Director of Abuse Prevention & Response at the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) Executive Committee, announced today - Special Grace – Standing for the Vulnerable
I will never forget my first conversation with Tom Stolle. I know exactly where I was – driving through West Los Angeles in February 2023. I had to pull over as tears streamed down my face. At the time, I was serving with the Evangelical Council for Abuse Prevention (ECAP) and speaking with Tom by phone for the first time. We had been introduced by Keith Myer from BCM/D. I knew that Tom and I shared something deeply personal: we both have children with autism. His son, Jimmy, was in his 20s; my daughter, Kassie, was 16. - A Better Way to Handle Abuse
Sexual abuse in the church does not have to end in broken lives, agonizing lawsuits and divided congregations. As illustrated by the real-life abuse case described later in this post, when people follow God’s ways and words, these terrible incidents can result in healing, justice and healthier churches.